Shhhh… don’t tell…

So I have this secret.

Seems kind of odd that I am writing that on here, huh? Why would I write something like that? After all, this is the INTERNET! Secrets do not belong here. The thing is, I have absolutely no intention of telling you, or anyone else for that matter, what this secret is.

I just wanted to get it off my chest. That I have this secret that I cannot tell (like, REALLY, I can’t tell) that has changed the way I look at things since I found out said secret a few days ago. It’s really only a secret for myself, about me.

But here’s the thing… it’s made me super insecure about some things. So, really, it’s this awful inner turmoil that has had me wondering and asking questions to myself for the past few days. Asking questions of others and waiting for their replies – probing more – listening – then thinking – and more silence. Here we go again – my questions of honesty and truth. This stupid secret, the one that I wish I did not know of, has me doubting everyone and anything they say … all because I got a glimpse of honesty in the form of a secret. One that I was not supposed to stumble upon, and now hold within me.

It’s been a bit of torture. But then again, it’s a secret. Again, I can’t tell.

So because I can’t tell, I just hold it in. There’s a lot going on in my head lately. So if I seem quiet or ask strange questions, it may have something to do with the inner wonderings of my heart, and this secret that I have locked and hidden away.