… And I come to You with these crumbs.
With Christmastime comes the season of giving, the season where you think of blessing others more often and giving to those in need. Now hopefully this is more than just Christmas for you, hopefully you give more than just during the holidays… but that’s another topic for another time.
Recently I’ve been thinking about this idea of giving more and more. It is something that I have been mulling over a lot. We are called to give, called to live in community and meet one another’s needs.
This is a very sensitive area for me right now, but something the Lord is stirring my heart in and an area of conviction. See, I love to give. I love discovering what people like and being able to get it for them. I love, love, LOVE giving gifts. I love the look on their face, the feeling that I did something that pleased His heart, meeting a need … everything about it.
But there is a reality in my life right now… and that is … I don’t have much to give.
It has been the source of my tears this week, the dwelling of my thoughts, the drive in my work ethic. I have been wrestling with this all week long. Christmas is coming … and I want to have something to give!
A few nights ago I was laying in bed, bringing this whole thing to the Lord, and I remember picturing a table with but a few crumbs that remained. No feast, no party, no big dinner… crumbs.
And I felt Him stir within my heart: If you would just bring Me what you have.
But, Lord, I only have a few crumbs.
Bring it to Me.
It’s not much. It won’t make a difference.
I love your offering.
And there, in my bed, in my wrestling and in my tears, the Lord began to speak to me. In this area of need, He touched my heart. I was brought back to the widow who gave everything she had, so little… yet so much.
Giving. It is so humbling to be on the receiving end of this idea. Pride rears its ugly head as I have nothing to give in return, and I am overwhelmed by the needs He meets in my life, and I am trying to know what it is to accept graciously and very, very humbly. I am mortified at the thought of not having something big and expensive and great to give in return…
.... But with everything, with my whole heart, I will give what I have.
